Working mothers aren’t the only ones who hire nannies to do in home childcare. There are an amazing number of mothers who are not earning an income, in or outside of the home, who still employ nannies for childcare. The reasons can vary. Some mothers lead very active lives involved in volunteer activities or other personal interests. Other mothers utilize the nanny as an assistant with her multiple children, just to have that extra set of hands.

1. Teamwork – These types of nanny positions require the mother and nanny to work together closely. The nanny will need to have a clear understanding of the mother’s goals regarding the nanny’s position within the household.
2. Schedule – A non-working mother’s schedule can sometimes be more erratic than most working mothers. The nanny and mother will need to work together to develop a schedule for the nanny that will work for both of them.
3. Defining roles – With the mother and the nanny both in the house at the same time, often working side-by-side, defining who does what and when can be a true challenge. This area is one that sometimes needs to develop over time, as both parties recognize what works best.
4. In and out – Unlike the situation where a mother is out of the house all day, this nanny will need to expect the mother to be in and out of the house as needed. Learning how to manage the children during these times will be another one of the nanny’s challenges.
5. Watchful eye – Because the mother may be present much more than in other nanny positions, the nanny needs to feel confident enough to handle the extra scrutiny that will naturally be there.
6. Personalities – Personality clashes can be an issue between any nanny and parent, but a personality clash in this situation can quickly end the working relationship. Making sure that both nanny and mom can work well together is vital for success.
7. Perceptions – Non-working mothers who have hired nannies to assist with childcare are, at times, the target of judgmental views from other members of society. A nanny will need to be vigilante in guarding the privacy and integrity of her client if confronted with outside opinions.
8. Personal boundaries – Setting personal boundaries in this close working relationship can be difficult. Each nanny and mother will need to work out their own set of boundaries regarding their relationship, in order to keep it at a professional level that both are comfortable with.
9. Writing the contract – Much more time should be spent in detailing out the employment agreement in this situation. It is important to cover and address the many variables that may arise in this more intimate work setting.
10. Juggling the children – Often times, this situation involves the nanny caring for one or more of the children while Mom attends to others. It may mean the nanny stays with younger children while Mom attends activities with the older ones, or it may be the opposite in some cases. Flexibility and good communication will be important for the nanny who is fulfilling this role.

The nanny and non-working mother who develop a good working relationship together can be strong allies in the care and support of the children in the household. It just takes a bit more teamwork.

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Finding the right nanny can be a really difficult and frustrating experience and it’s true that some parents go into it with pre-conceived notions of what a nanny should or should not be like (young and fun or older and experienced, etc.).  We aren’t really sure why that is the case but over the years I have had some parents tell me that they would prefer to not have a nanny that has her own children.  I think that’s really too bad because there are many reasons to consider Moms.  Just being a Mother doesn’t mean that they are good or bad, better or worse, but it should NOT be a reason to exclude them from a search.  In fact, you should see their experience as a parent in many ways consistent with “on-the-job” training that should help them in their career as a nanny.  We are going to give you a few reasons to consider hiring a nanny who is a mother, but we want to stress that these types of life skills can and often do exist in people that have chosen a career as a nanny.

1. Experience – Colic, croup, teething, “terrible two’s” and a cast of thousands of first-hand experiences will be helpful for your nanny.
2. Empathy – Being a mother takes things from the hypothetical/theoretical to a practical level, and those with the “experience” are more apt to have a “feel” for their charges.
3. Behavior Recognition – Mothers see the progressions, regressions, aggressions and digressions in your kids  because they have been through it with their own children.
4. Skills – Mom’s can have learned some skills that are hard to teach effectively from dealing with kid’s that know how to push their buttons to holding a sick child’s hand while they lie in bed with a fever.  Some of those life skills can really come in handy in ways that are just hard to describe.
5. Discipline – Nannies with parenting experience have learned to balance the use of the carrot and the stick.  Again, all nannies should have this well under control but getting your kids to accept discipline for some reason can be even more challenging than doing the same with other children.
6. Nutrition – If a nanny has been successful at getting her own children hooked on healthy foods then there is a chance she has a few tricks up her sleeve for getting kids in her charge to eat their veggies and more.
7. Knows the Routine – Doctors, dentists, pictures with Santa, after-school activities and a slew of other appointments and activities are nothing new to the nanny who is also a mom.
8. Education – Typically, a nanny who has school-age kids of her own will be better prepared to help in the educational process if that is something that you are looking for from your nanny (tutoring and/or interactions with the school as needed).
9. Instinct – Humans don’t like to be compared to other earthly fauna, but many say the motherly “instinct” is alive and well.  Once again, this can be strong in nannies without their own children as well and is much more intrinsic to the person on a case-by-case basis.
10. Intangibles – Almost a compendium of the previous items is the overall presence of a nanny who already has childrearing experience. The total package can be greater than the sum of the parts.

Motherhood is certainly NOT a requirement for a great nanny by any means as there are many fantastic caregivers that have never had children of their own (in fact through their nanny experiences they will likely pick up nearly the same life skills).  With that said, it’s common when you are looking for an experienced nanny to find out whether or not candidates have been a mother and to delve into questions surrounding their own experiences.  It can go either way, but one thing we are sure of is that you should not ignore candidates who have been a Mother, in fact we hope we gave you some good reasons to include them on your interview list.

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As children get older, they need to take on more responsibilities. One of those responsibilities is taking care of themselves. Whether it’s for a few minutes or a few hours, eventually every child needs to be able to stay home alone. Here are ten tips on deciding when your child is ready.

1. Your child should indicate a desire and willingness to stay alone - Children who are easily frightened or express an unwillingness to stay alone are probably not ready for this responsibility.
2. Your child should be showing signs of accepting the responsibility – Children who are able to get ready for school on time and complete homework and household chores with a minimum of supervision are illustrating their growing sense of responsibility.
3. Your child should be aware of the needs of others – Children who remember to tell you where they are going and when they will be back and are mindful of the promises they make are aware of other’s needs.
4. Your child should be able to consider alternatives and make decisions independently – Children who solve problems on their own and do not depend on their parents for every decision are demonstrating some of the skills they need to care for themselves.
5. Your child should be able to talk easily with you about interests and concerns – Good parent-child communication is needed to ensure that any fears or problems that arise because of staying alone can be quickly discussed and dealt with.
6. Your child should know how to react in situations such as – being locked out, being afraid, being bored, being lonely, and arguments with brothers and sisters.
7. Your child should know house rules about – leaving the house, having friends in, cooking and use of kitchen equipment, appropriate snacks and meals, talking with friends on the phone, and duties to be completed while home alone.
8. Your child should have good telephone skills – Such as a list of emergency numbers, knowledge of what to say in an emergency situation, how to respond if someone calls, and understanding of appropriate and inappropriate reasons for calling parents or other adults for help.
9. Your child should have good personal safety skills – Such as how to answer the door when alone, how to lock and unlock windows, what to do if approached by a stranger on the way home, what to do if they think someone is in the house when they get home, and what to do if someone touches them inappropriately.
10. Your child should have good home safety skills – Like kitchen safety (use of appliances, knives and tools), what to do if they smell smoke or gas- or in the event of a fire, what to do during severe storms, basic first aid techniques and how to know when to get help.

For many children these abilities begin to appear between the ages of 10-12. Some children may take longer than others, but it should be a mutual decision. Both the child and the parent need to be certain they are ready. A trial period of one or two days a week could be tried first, allowing both the parent and the child time to assure themselves that they are ready for this next step in responsibility.

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Sociologist Cameron MacDonald has created quite a stir with her book, Shadow Mothers: Nannies, Au Pairs, and the Micropolitics of Mothering. As a sociologist, MacDonald looks at the issues of today’s childcare from all perspectives, the parent, the provider, the child, the workplace and society in general. The title of her book has, in affect, coined a new term, “Shadow Mothers”. The term relates to the desire of professional mothers to have their child’s daycare provider become an extension of themselves that appear and then disappears, as needed. Below we’ve listed ten concerns that are raised about the concept of nannies being shadow mothers.

1. Disconnect with Mom – As much as mothers desire their kids to feel happy and safe with their nannies, there is often a concern that their children will lose their intimate connection with their mother, when the child is spending so much time in the care of another woman.
2. Cultural values – One of the traditional roles of the mother has been to pass on cultural values and societal standing to their children. There are concerns that this motherhood role may be lost  when leaving children in the care of nannies from another class of society.
3. Blurred lines – When mothers expect a nanny to take on her full role of motherly nurture in her absence, the roles of nanny and mother can lose their distinction, especially for the child.
4. Nanny preference – Concerns that the children will become more attached to their nanny than to their own mother are common. Mothers seem to want their children to be happy to see their nanny, but not ‘too’ happy.
5. Mommy guilt – The educated mom has an even greater understanding of the important psychological role that she plays in the early development of her child. Unfortunately, that understanding can lead to guilt feelings related to sharing the daily care of her children with other adults.
6. Nanny rotation – There are some mothers who try to solve the problem of nanny attachment through nanny rotation. Rather than keeping their child with one nanny that they can continue to bond with, the mother will replace the nanny yearly or even more often to prevent that attachment from forming.
7. Emotional disconnect – In situations where the nanny recognizes the mother’s desire to keep their child from bonding too closely with their caregiver, a nanny may attempt to maintain emotionally distant from the children, which may not necessarily be in the best interest of the children she cares for.
8. Cultural attitudes – Mothers can be concerned with the opinions of her peers towards her sharing of her mothering role with an employee. In spite of the fact that the majority of women now work outside of the home, there still is some stigma attached to the hiring of a one-on-one caregiver for your child.
9. Child’s perception – Confusion of the roles of the two caregivers in the mind of the child is one of the main concerns. Maintaining certain areas of care, such as bathing, homework assistance and bedtime, as distinctly the mom’s responsibility can help keep the two roles separate.
10.  Balanced acknowledgement – The conclusion drawn by MacDonald in her book indicated that the most healthy nanny-parent relationships were those where the parents openly acknowledged the value of the nanny in the role as ‘one’ of the adult caregivers  in the family. This balance can be achieved much the same as the balance created by mothers and fathers in their roles of caring for their children. The roles are distinct and yet cooperative. They are mutually acknowledged.

When handled correctly, the nanny as a ‘shadow mother’ can be a very positive experience for the children, the parents and the nanny, as well.

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As a nanny, you are more involved with the families of children in your care than you would be as a babysitter. This means that there are some differences in the general rules to go along with the specific rules of any house in which you work. Here are 10 good, general rules for Nannies.

1. Your Friends. As a nanny, it is a good idea to avoid ever inviting friends to drop in while you’re working, unless you’ve discussed it with your employer ahead of time.
2. What’s Theirs is Theirs. This may seem obvious, but sometimes lines are blurred when you work with one family for a long time. Always remember that what is theirs stays with them, and does not go home with you unless it has been gifted to you.
3. Vehicle Use. You may, in the course of your employment as nanny, have the use of a family vehicle. Although the specific rules of use will vary from family to family, always remember that this is your employer’s vehicle, not yours. Use it only for transporting kids and performing errands related to the job, unless there is a specific purpose that you’ve received permission to pursue.
4. Outings. This could almost be part of the vehicle use topic, but is actually a separate issue. Outings with the kids should always be related to the job and their care. For example, you are not at the park to exchange war stories with other nannies; you are there to allow the kids to play under your watchful eye.
5. Food. It is wise to never introduce anything new into the diet of a child in your care, unless it is done with a parent’s prior knowledge. There is no need to risk triggering an allergic reaction or other food intolerance symptoms.
6. Family Values. Part of your job as a nanny is to reinforce the family’s values with the children in your care. Not your own family’s values, but theirs. It’s okay to disagree on priorities, but keep it to yourself in front of the kids.
7. Discipline and Reporting. It’s good to establish from the beginning, what sort of disciplinary actions are expected of you, and when and what the parents want reported to them. Don’t make assumptions when it comes to these issues, discuss them ahead of time and revisit them as you feel is necessary.
8. Media. This is another case where the general rule is to establish the rules. Use of television, computers, game consoles, and related items, should all be discussed and set with the parents from the beginning.
9. Kids’ Friends. There will be times when the kids in your care will have friends over, and you will be responsible. Treat this as you would as a parent. Make sure and speak with a parent of the visiting child, ask about any allergies or other concerns to be aware of. It’s good to take a moment to tell the visiting child’s parent what sort of activities you expect to be taking place while the child is visiting.
10. Discretion. Respect the privacy of the family you work for. All will have quirks and habits that might make great fodder for amusing stories to share with friends. Resist the urge to do so. Ask yourself whether you’d want someone discussing your own family’s private issues outside of your home.

You will obviously be dealing with as many different sets of rules as the number of families that you work with over time. These 10 will give you a good foundation to work from in any house.

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What to look for, what to ask when searching for reputable nanny agencies

1. Is the agency’s phone answered by a live person or do you always get the answering machine no matter what time of day? If there are problems with the nanny you select, will this agency be available to take care of your complaints and live up to their replacement policy?

2. Ask them, how do you recruit your nannies? The best answer will be through word of mouth and repeat business. A quality agency will have nannies and clients who are loyal to them.

3. Ask them what the screening process is before the candidate is even sent on an interview. You do not want unscreened nannies coming to your home.

4. Ask them if they are members of any professional associations, i.e., International Nanny Association (INA), National Alliance of Professional Nanny Agencies (APNA), Chamber of Commerce, and or Better Business Bureau. This shows a commitment to their professionalism in business and the industry.

5. Ask them how long they have been in business. There are many fly by night companies in this industry. Granted, every business had to start somewhere, and it is your option to choose a new one as long as there are no other red flags.

6. Ask the agency how nanny interviews are conducted. The International Nanny Association recommends that agencies interview nannies in person and if this is not an option that the agency disclose to the client how the interview was conducted, i.e., by telephone, an agent acting on behalf of the agency, etc.

7. Ask them what the minimum requirements are for the nannies that they represent. Some agencies require professional childcare references and others may not.

8. Ask them what is their procedure regarding reference checking and how many references will be called. The International Nanny Association recommends that at least 2 references should be checked by phone. In addition, the agency should disclose to you all information about the candidate that has been verified through personal and employment references, as allowed by law.

9. Do they have a written contract between the agency and the client? Does this contract spell out the time periods within which replacement and/or refunds will be made by the agency?

10. Do you have training programs or support groups for your nannies? Many agencies will offer group CPR training programs, nanny night out, or holiday functions for their nannies. This shows a commitment to their nannies which results in commitment from the nannies to the agency, thus a bigger pool of experienced nannies.

11. Look for and expect an in-depth client interview (that means with you.) You want an agency that listens to your needs and sends you applicants that fill those needs.

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Is a Summer Nanny Right for You?

Summertime, and the living is easy, as they say. But when the demands of work and day-to-day life are added to the round-the-clock demands of having the kids home for summer, the result can be a hectic season, indeed!

Many families strike the perfect balance during the school year, concocting an ideal weekly schedule of activities that allows the children to be home when the parents are home, and occupied when they’re not.

Then that final school bell rings, and families who have not planned ahead can find themselves scrambling…but it doesn’t have to be that way! There are plenty of positive ways to allow your children to enjoy their hard-earned summer vacation, all while meeting your own responsibilities…which most likely don’t come with a seasonal respite.

In cases like these, a summer nanny can be a great solution.

Your summer options

There are many ways to approach childcare during the summer months, and different solutions work for different families.

A fixture in many a’ summer reminiscence, summer camp is just fine for some children – but this goes on a case-by-case basis. The more social the child, the more prepared they’ll be for all-day recreation at camp. But as we all know, some children dread the very idea.

In cases like these, some families find that hiring a summer nanny can be a great way to enrich their children’s summer experience, ensure that parents can meet their demands at work, and maintain a relative level of normality throughout the out-of-school months.

What to expect from a summer nanny

Like all nannies, summer nannies have different backgrounds and levels of experience. One common scenario is the college student looking for summer work experience, with a secondary aim of traveling to a new place. (In other words, to wherever their employer family lives.)

In this case, it is important to be clear about your expectations, and also to be considerate of your summer nanny’s time off the clock. Much like you expect some time away from the office (and even away from home!), your nanny deserves some time to unwind when not busy with their duties. If they’re new to the area, show them around. Give them ideas of places to explore. The happier the nanny, the happier the family.

Other summer nannies have regular jobs during the school, year, but have the summer off and are looking to supplement their regular position. Many are teachers. Some are healthcare workers. Most have interesting experiences to share and creative ideas that can open new worlds to your child during their months off from school.

It’s something to think about

A summer nanny can be a great addition to the household, providing that you do the appropriate amount of research and take the time to find the right match for your child and family.

In short, they’re a great option for families that need full-time summer childcare and prefer an in-home option.

Need help finding a summer nanny? Visit NannyClassifieds.com < http://www.nannyclassifieds.com/families/family_works.php>>

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