As children get older, they need to take on more responsibilities. One of those responsibilities is taking care of themselves. Whether it’s for a few minutes or a few hours, eventually every child needs to be able to stay home alone. Here are ten tips on deciding when your child is ready.

1. Your child should indicate a desire and willingness to stay alone - Children who are easily frightened or express an unwillingness to stay alone are probably not ready for this responsibility.
2. Your child should be showing signs of accepting the responsibility – Children who are able to get ready for school on time and complete homework and household chores with a minimum of supervision are illustrating their growing sense of responsibility.
3. Your child should be aware of the needs of others – Children who remember to tell you where they are going and when they will be back and are mindful of the promises they make are aware of other’s needs.
4. Your child should be able to consider alternatives and make decisions independently – Children who solve problems on their own and do not depend on their parents for every decision are demonstrating some of the skills they need to care for themselves.
5. Your child should be able to talk easily with you about interests and concerns – Good parent-child communication is needed to ensure that any fears or problems that arise because of staying alone can be quickly discussed and dealt with.
6. Your child should know how to react in situations such as – being locked out, being afraid, being bored, being lonely, and arguments with brothers and sisters.
7. Your child should know house rules about – leaving the house, having friends in, cooking and use of kitchen equipment, appropriate snacks and meals, talking with friends on the phone, and duties to be completed while home alone.
8. Your child should have good telephone skills – Such as a list of emergency numbers, knowledge of what to say in an emergency situation, how to respond if someone calls, and understanding of appropriate and inappropriate reasons for calling parents or other adults for help.
9. Your child should have good personal safety skills – Such as how to answer the door when alone, how to lock and unlock windows, what to do if approached by a stranger on the way home, what to do if they think someone is in the house when they get home, and what to do if someone touches them inappropriately.
10. Your child should have good home safety skills – Like kitchen safety (use of appliances, knives and tools), what to do if they smell smoke or gas- or in the event of a fire, what to do during severe storms, basic first aid techniques and how to know when to get help.

For many children these abilities begin to appear between the ages of 10-12. Some children may take longer than others, but it should be a mutual decision. Both the child and the parent need to be certain they are ready. A trial period of one or two days a week could be tried first, allowing both the parent and the child time to assure themselves that they are ready for this next step in responsibility.

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Q: How much should I ask for inclement weather pay? It wasn’t discussed during the interview but I need to pay my bills! I missed 4 days last week due to a hurricane. What’s the best way to ensure fairness to both of the parents and the nanny?

A: It is important to have a contract or employment agreement before starting a job. If the employer was unable to get to work because in weather conditions but is paid for their time then you should be paid for your time.

It is difficult to anticipate every possible scenario, but it is a good idea to discuss how these situations will be handled before hand. Since you are now bridging this after the fact, the best you can do is ask your employer if you will be paid for the time that you were unable to get to work.

Pat Cascio
Nanny/Employer Expert
4EverythingNanny.com

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Q: I’ve been a nanny for a 5 year old girl for around 9 months now. I work part-time, 4-5 days a week, consistent schedule. I received a raise within my first week due to the mother informing me that she’s never had a nanny be so involved with activities and interaction with her child. She recently has mentioned that she’s not happy with her daughter’s school because she hasn’t learned anything in regards to basic subjects (english, math, etc). She asked if I could help her with advancing these skills (or actually helping her form them, she doesn’t know even the basics, so I’d have to start from scratch). I’ve tutored for several years. I’ve already worked with her daughter some and her mother has mentioned how appreciative she was. I’ve also devoted spare time to creating lesson plans to use. My question is how much extra should I ask in pay for tutoring and should I offer to wait a week or so until her mother notices a difference.

I get paid $12/hr for 3 hours per day. I’m also 28 years old with a B.A. in English Lit.

A: Dear Nanny,

I would suggest that you research the pay scale for tutors in your area. You have the educational background and experience of a tutor and could and maybe should be offering those services at the appropriate hourly rate..

The time that you are taking to research teaching methods and lesson plans is of value to the parent and the child. Since you have not been hired as a tutor it is probably too late to ask for three plus hours at that rate.

I think it is time to discuss the situation with the parent by explaining your planned program, the time you are spending researching, the challenges that the child presents, and your expected results

Be prepared to tell the parent what a tutor would earn on an hourly rate and then modify that amount according to actual “teaching time” and to the time that you are offering nanny care only. I think if you raise your hourly rate, the parent may object but if you suggest that the parent pay you a weekly “bonus” for the time you are working at home and the time you are working with the child it may seem more reasonable to the parent.

If I were to choose an amount I would probably say an additional $50 to $75 per week for however long the child will need the additional help.

Best wishes,

Pat Cascio
Morningside Nannies

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