“He has you wrapped around his little finger!” That was the comment so often made to the parent or adult who just couldn’t resist the big sad look of the child who knew how to melt the heart and cause a reversal of any decision deemed not to his liking. Fathers, mothers, grandpas and grandmas, (especially grandpas and grandmas) fall victim to the big pleading eyes of girls and boys of all ages all the time. Here are ten ways you can protect yourself from succumbing to sad puppy dog eyes.

1. Don’t look – Avoid eye contact with the child. Say what you need to say and be firm. If you must look at your child then look sideways and not at those big beautiful, pleading eyes. Or…
2. Make firm, direct eye contact – This takes resolve. Say what you need to say looking directly into the eyes of the child, then purse your lips, raise one eyebrow and resist all attempts your child makes to have you change your mind.
3. Just say no – Or yes, or whatever it is you need to say and walk away. Should your child follow you just say, “That’s it. End of discussion” and don’t stop walking.
4. Let them choose – Maybe your child just wants a choice if you are telling them to do something and they’re pleading with you to do something else. Give them a choice. They can either do what you are asking them to do or they can do some unpleasant task that needs to be done. Most times kids will choose the original request.
5. Act dumb – Your child came to you with a request and your reply was not the desired answer. Puppy dog eyes begin pleading with you, but you look like you don’t understand what’s happening; you’re standing there with a quizzical look on your face, head cocked to one side then the other. It doesn’t take him long to figure out that you are not going to change your mind.
6. Bargain – But this isn’t just any bargain. When your older child comes at you with the puppy dog eyes ready to spin you around that little finger, think of some job you really want done around the house. Give in, but only in exchange for something you want, like a clean garage or the windows washed. And if they don’t like the deal, give them the puppy dog eyes.
7. Reflect the image – Go get a mirror and hold it up to the child’s face. If nothing else, it redirects their thought pattern!
8. Sympathize – “Aw sweetie, Mommy would really like to let you go to the park, but….no means no. Sorry. Maybe we can go tomorrow.” Let your child know that what they want to do just isn’t going to work in the present moment, but later on is a possibility. No doesn’t necessarily mean never.
9. Ignore the child – Sometimes if you ignore them they will go away. Sometimes. Just make sure they don’t go too far away and get into trouble!
10. Give in – Face it, sometimes that look is so precious and the request so minor that you just have to give in. It won’t be the end of the world. But if you do cave, let your little one know that this is an exception and not the rule. And next time choose one of the above responses and stand firm!

Comments Off

As parents I know we like to think that we do no wrong, but have you ever thought about the fact that kids learn by example?  How many times a day would you say that you get after your kids about something?  Where are they learning those behaviors?  I know we’d like to think that they get it from their friends, but I think if you really thought about it that you might find that they are getting their bad examples from you.  Check out 10 situations where adults often model bad behaviors to kids.

1. Texting while driving: I know I’m guilty of this.  I think that I only read a text while I’m driving, but I write back when I’m stopped at the stoplight.  Do you think the kids know the difference?  The slight nuance of only texting while you are stopped?  Or do they just see your cell phone in your hand?  If we want our kids to be safe when they become drivers we have to model responsible texting behaviors now.
2. Road rage: Unfortunately I am very guilty of this one.  I’m always yelling at drivers when they do things that irritate me.  I try not to use profanity when the kids are in the car with me, but I know they are listening because I’ve heard my then six year old telling the driver of the car in front of me to get out of our way because we’re in a hurry.  At the time I think I told her that only the driver gets to do that.  But I was thinking that I was not setting a very good example for my kids.
3. Playing a game: How many times have you gotten upset when you were playing a game as a family?  This can range from calling each other punk when they play the third draw card in a row while playing Uno to refusing to play the game anymore because you lost.  I’ve seen both of these and many more.  It’s important to remember that it’s just a game and it doesn’t really matter.  If your kids see you losing your cool over a simple card game then how can we get upset with them when they do the same thing at school or with their friends?
4. Kids Sporting Event: Parents can get so riled up over a what they perceive to be a bad call at a soccer game, football game, insert sport here game that it’s unreal.  We were at a soccer tournament with my 10 year old son.  The parents of the other team got so upset at the officials that the off-duty police officers had to come and escort them to their next game.  They were yelling at our parents as well and it was all we could do to get all of our parents out of there before it came to blows.  The kids saw this happen and we wonder why you see poor sportsmanship on the field.
5. Waiting in line: Some people are very time intolerant.  They would rather do almost anything other than stand in a long line.  It’s not my favorite way to spend my time either, but it doesn’t bother me.  What kind of behavior are you modeling for your kids when you keep complaining that the line is too long and this is all a big waste of time etc.?  You need to act like you would want them to act.
6. Eating out: I think we’d all like to think we are raising kids who treat everyone fairly and courteously.  But what kind of example are you setting when you get upset with the waitress for messing up your order?  I’ve seen people get really angry with wait staff if their food is taking too long or if their order is wrong.  First of all, keep in mind that your children are watching you verbally abuse this stranger over food.  Secondly, keep in mind that that person that you are yelling at did not make the food.  They just brought it out to you.  And even if they put the order in wrong, I don’t think any of us can say that we’ve never made a mistake.
7. Smoking: Every time an adult picks up a cigarette they are modeling bad behavior.  Cigarettes are poison and very unhealthy.  Again, kids learn by example so if you smoke what makes you think that they won’t start that bad habit too?
8. Drinking excessively: Many times adults will over indulge at home or at a party.  Their kids see them acting in a weird way.  Kids have no idea why mommy or daddy is acting this way.  This can be very scary for kids and it doesn’t send a great message to the kids.  It gives them the idea that to have a good time you need to drink large amounts of alcohol.
9. Yelling: We don’t want our children to yell at their teacher or us do we?  I’m pretty sure we don’t even want them to yell at each other.  When we yell at our children we are modeling bad behavior.  Again, kids learn by example.
10. Hitting: It never ceases to amaze me that parents are surprised that their kids hit other kids at the park.  “I just don’t know why Johnny just hit your daughter?  He’s never been a hitter.”  No, but I’m sure that Johnny has been swatted a time a two since the first thing this mom did was smack him on the butt for hitting my child.  I wonder where he got the idea that hitting was the thing to do.

Comments Off

Parents want to do everything they can to help their sick child feel better, but they need to be very careful about giving them medications. Many medicines are made for adults only and never should be given to a young child or baby. Even some medications specifically made for children can be dangerous if given improperly or in the wrong dosages. Before giving any medicine to your kids, please review these 10 common medications your child should never take.

1. Aspirin – The number one medication to avoid using for kids is aspirin since it’s been linked to Reye’s syndrome. Although most parents know this, they may not be aware of all the products that contain aspirin. Check the ingredients of all medications before giving them to children to make sure they don’t contain aspirin.
2. Vicks – A common home remedy to relieve congestion in infants was to put Vicks on the baby’s feet or chest. This is no longer recommended for kids under 2 since several children ended up in the hospital with respiratory problems. Never put Vicks around a child’s nose or let them swallow it because it can harm their eyes and is poisonous.
3. Antihistamines – Many cold medicines contain antihistamines like diphenhydramine or loratidine that have been found to be ineffective for treating cold symptoms in children. Why give your kids something that could cause more harm than good? You should only give children antihistamines if they are prescribed by your pediatrician for allergies.
4. Sudafed – This common decongestant has also been found to be ineffective for relieving cold symptoms in children. Since Sudafed has no proven benefit for common viral illnesses, it’s generally not worth the potential side effects of irritability, restlessness and nervousness.
5. Cough medicines – Coughing is how a body clears out the lungs, so cough suppressants are never a good idea for children. You’re much better off treating the underlying cause of the coughing than trying to stop it. You should always check with a doctor before giving your child a cough medicine.
6. Pepto-Bismol – This common remedy for stomach discomfort and diarrhea should never be given to young children since it contains aspirin. Using Pepto-Bismol to relieve vomiting or diarrhea can definitely do more harm than good.
7. Alka-Seltzer – Another product that contains aspirin is Alka-Seltzer, so your child should never take this medication. The information on the box clearly indicates that it’s not recommended for children under the age of 12.
8. Sleeping pills – Most sleeping pills and PM medications contain diphenhydramine which, as previously noted, is not recommended for children. Although this antihistamine is commonly used to cause drowsiness, in children it can have the opposite effect and cause them to become restless, irritable and have difficulty sleeping.
9. Antibiotics – Although antibiotics have been routinely prescribed for viral infections, the risk can outweigh the benefits. They will not cure or shorten the duration of the illness and overexposure to antibiotics has lead to the development of drug-resistant bacteria.
10. Pseudoephedrine – This nasal decongestant is a common ingredient in children’s cough and cold medications and is not recommended for children under the age of 2. Pseudoephedrine has never been shown to have any beneficial effect yet it can have significant harmful effects.

Parents should read labels of all OTC (over the counter) medications for the recommended children’s dosages. They will clearly state which drugs are intended for adults and not for children under the age of 12. Also check the ingredients listed to make sure they don’t contain aspirin or any of the other medications that can be dangerous to children. Kids will get sick, but it’s important to remember that common illnesses are only temporary. It’s much better to be safe than sorry and give your child something that will only make them feel worse.

Comments Off

Working mothers aren’t the only ones who hire nannies to do in home childcare. There are an amazing number of mothers who are not earning an income, in or outside of the home, who still employ nannies for childcare. The reasons can vary. Some mothers lead very active lives involved in volunteer activities or other personal interests. Other mothers utilize the nanny as an assistant with her multiple children, just to have that extra set of hands.

1. Teamwork – These types of nanny positions require the mother and nanny to work together closely. The nanny will need to have a clear understanding of the mother’s goals regarding the nanny’s position within the household.
2. Schedule – A non-working mother’s schedule can sometimes be more erratic than most working mothers. The nanny and mother will need to work together to develop a schedule for the nanny that will work for both of them.
3. Defining roles – With the mother and the nanny both in the house at the same time, often working side-by-side, defining who does what and when can be a true challenge. This area is one that sometimes needs to develop over time, as both parties recognize what works best.
4. In and out – Unlike the situation where a mother is out of the house all day, this nanny will need to expect the mother to be in and out of the house as needed. Learning how to manage the children during these times will be another one of the nanny’s challenges.
5. Watchful eye – Because the mother may be present much more than in other nanny positions, the nanny needs to feel confident enough to handle the extra scrutiny that will naturally be there.
6. Personalities – Personality clashes can be an issue between any nanny and parent, but a personality clash in this situation can quickly end the working relationship. Making sure that both nanny and mom can work well together is vital for success.
7. Perceptions – Non-working mothers who have hired nannies to assist with childcare are, at times, the target of judgmental views from other members of society. A nanny will need to be vigilante in guarding the privacy and integrity of her client if confronted with outside opinions.
8. Personal boundaries – Setting personal boundaries in this close working relationship can be difficult. Each nanny and mother will need to work out their own set of boundaries regarding their relationship, in order to keep it at a professional level that both are comfortable with.
9. Writing the contract – Much more time should be spent in detailing out the employment agreement in this situation. It is important to cover and address the many variables that may arise in this more intimate work setting.
10. Juggling the children – Often times, this situation involves the nanny caring for one or more of the children while Mom attends to others. It may mean the nanny stays with younger children while Mom attends activities with the older ones, or it may be the opposite in some cases. Flexibility and good communication will be important for the nanny who is fulfilling this role.

The nanny and non-working mother who develop a good working relationship together can be strong allies in the care and support of the children in the household. It just takes a bit more teamwork.

Comments Off

Each year, individuals are nominated and a title is awarded for the Nanny of the Year Award. This award is sponsored by the International Nanny Association (INA). In order to receive this prestigious award, there are several qualifications that must be met.

1. Currently employed. In order to be nominated and qualify as a candidate for the Nanny of the Year Award, a person must be currently employed as a nanny. Those without a current position as a nanny, even if they are doing childcare in another type of setting, would not qualify.
2. Full time nanny. Nannies who hold a part time position do not qualify for a nomination. All nominees must be currently employed in a full time nanny position. It may be a temporary position or a specialty position, but it must be full time hours, as defined by the Fair Labor Standards Act. This is defined as a minimum of 40 hours per seven day period or a minimum of 2080 hours per year.
3. Member of INA. Since this award is provided by the INA, one of the obvious qualifications is that the nanny be a current member of the organization at the time the nomination is filed. Membership is easy to apply for on their website and the cost in 2011 is only $35.00.
4. 5 years minimum experience. In order to qualify for nomination, the person must have a minimum of five years experience in the  in-home childcare industry.
5. Meet legal requirements. The person must legally be able to accept employment in the country they are currently employed in, and they must also be paid as an ‘employee’, as defined by the IRS.
6. Advocate for Children. Any person nominated for the Nanny of the Year Award should demonstrate, in tangible ways, that they are a genuine advocate for children in general, beyond just the children in their current care.
7. Nomination. A nanny cannot nominate herself for this award, but the nanny must be in attendance at the award ceremony during the annual INA Conference in order to receive the award.
8. Agreement to Duties. Part of the application for the Nanny of the Year Award is a listing of the duties expected of the winner of the award during the year to follow. There is a Certification Form included with the application which the nominee must sign. It acknowledges that she understands those duties and is willing and able to perform them if she is given the award.
9. Letters of recommendation. Letters of recommendation from current and previous employers are to be included as part of the application.
10. Enriching the lives of children in her care. The nanny being nominated should be able to demonstrate through the materials and references provided with the application that she has had an enriching impact on the lives of the children within her care.

This award is quite coveted among the professional nannies who are a part of the International Nanny Association and quite a bit of work goes into the application process on the part of the nominator and the nominee herself.

Comments Off

Whether you are a first-time nanny looking to spice up a resume that may be lacking something or a seasoned pro who needs to do a lot of updating, if you are in the job market, you need to have an outstanding resume. Times are tough and competition is keen, so your resume needs to stand out in the crowd. What we have here are some tips and advice that can help you build a more impressive resume, one that could land you that elusive job interview.

For a prospective nanny, a simple online resume may not be enough. You will need to have ready access to all manner of certifications, many of which will only be accepted in hard-copy. These materials should be protected from hazards such as fires and floods, since replacement can be an added nightmare in the event of a disaster.

If you feel a need to buff up your resume, make use of these seven tips.

1. Reassess – Refresh yourself with a review of your resume, and you will help yourself revisit why you got into the nanny profession in the first place. This will help counter any complacency that can build up over time. Also, if you are asked about your resume during an interview, you will have the answers fresh in your mind.
2. Slash the trash – Don’t be redundant. If you have current certifications in your package, remove out-of-date material. Prospective employers want you to display a sense of organization, so limit yourself to pertinent information.
3. Point out Pluses – If you have won any awards or received commendations, especially during any recent employment, it is apropos to include that in your made-over resume package.
4. Hire a Professional  -  There are plenty of professional resume writing services available. Often times, these professionals have experience in the human relations field and know exactly how to layout a resume in a way that will capture the attention of potential employers.
5. Photo – If photographs are part of the resume package, make sure they are current and professional. Don’t use the pictures from your night out with the Chippendale dancers, and don’t overdo the make-up. Most parents prefer the wholesome look for someone they are hiring to care for their offspring.
6. Letters of Recommendation –  Ask for letters of recommendation from your past employers to include with your resume. These personal testimonials carry a lot of weight with new employers.
7. More Eyes – Sometimes it just takes a fresh pair of eyes to help improve a resume. Have a friend or colleague read through your packet to see how it might appear to a prospective employer. Often, we write things in a manner that is clear to ourselves, but doesn’t get the message through to the potential interviewer.

Remember, don’t have a stagnant or dull resume. That package is often the first impression somebody receives if they are thinking about hiring you. They may see dozens of resumes; make sure yours is the best it can be.

Comments Off

Working parents usually have regularly scheduled childcare for their kids, but there are situations that may require a temporary nanny or caregiver. They may be inbetween permanent day care, the child is sick and can’t attend school or the parents are taking a short vacation on their own. Whatever the reason, there are temporary childcare services available. However, before taking that step, be sure to know the risks involved.

Children are the most comfortable if they can depend on a regular daily routine. Too much disruption to this can lead kids into a sense of insecurity. Some children are able to deal with new situations and other caregivers better than others, so use caution when introducing your child to temporary childcare. It wouldn’t be advisable to leave your child with an unfamiliar adult while you go off on a weekend getaway.

Kids who are constantly being shuffled from one caregiver to another can develop trouble forming attachments. Beginning in infancy with their parents, children need to develop secure attachments to the adults that care for them. Consistent, dependable relationships give kids a sense of security and control, so constantly changing temporary caregivers can be detrimental to a child’s well being. Bonding with adult caregivers can take time and consistency so constant disruptions to this process can result in your child being detached and have trouble establishing future relationships.

It’s unreasonable to expect that your child should never be left with a temporary caregiver, so parents shouldn’t worry too much when the situation arises. When something unexpected comes up and you need to get someone to watch the kids, don’t be concerned that they’ll have irreparable damage from the experience. Only when this scenario is repeated over and over do you run the risk of behavior problems developing in your child. Kids who don’t develop stable relationships with their caregivers can become irritable and act out from frustration.

When circumstances do require you to find a temporary caregiver, be sure to get someone you can trust. A good temporary childcare service will perform thorough background checks on all their staff. By checking references and getting recommendations from other parents, you should be able to locate a reputable service or responsible person that you can feel comfortable leaving your child with. Never run the risk of trusting the care of your child with someone you don’t know well personally or haven’t thoroughly checked out ahead of time.

Another option for temporary childcare is to get someone your child is already familiar with. Perhaps you have a friend or family member that your children know from past social gatherings that they would feel comfortable with. By having an already established relationship, kids will be less traumatized by being left alone with someone different for a short period of time.

Knowing the risks associated with temporary childcare and how to avoid them is an important aspect in childrearing. By letting your children establish ongoing relationships with their caregivers and providing them with consistency in their formative years, your kids are more likely to grow up happy, healthy and well adjusted.

Comments Off