Being a working mom is already a difficult situation but when you add in a nanny, things get even more complex. How do you handle balancing the relationship- making it professional in such a private setting? What can you do to make it easier? Here are ten tips on common challenges with nannies and how to resolve them.

1. Establish a Business Relationship – Be professional.  Make sure you pay your nanny on time and in a professional manner. Some people think of a nanny as a paid friend, but that’s not true. You are her employer and should always treat her with professionalism and respect. Make sure that the relationship begins professionally as well. Make a contract that clearly lines out what both parties expect.
2. Communicate – One of the main problems parents and nannies face is a lack of communication. How can the nanny know what you expect if you do not ever tell her? Don’t assume anything. After all, you know what they say about assuming…
3. Provide clear direction — This is actually a part of communicating, but it’s so important that I gave it a separate section. If your nanny is falling short of your expectations, give her feedback. You may be feeling upset or resentful about something that the nanny did not even realize was an issue.
4. Pay well and offer bonuses for a job well done — In addition to paying nannies a fair wage, giving thoughtful bonuses, such as a gift card at their favorite coffee shop, can be used as a reward when nannies hit milestones or accomplish specific goals.
5. Motivate – Pay is not the only motivator. Be positive and uplifting. DON’T talk down to your nannies. If you respect them, they’ll respect you. Think about it- how would you like to be treated? And remember, a motivated nanny stays around longer.
6. Be home on time — Your nanny has a life outside of her work, and when you are running late, even by 15 minutes, it affects her plans. Try to be home on time and always pay your nanny for any extra time when you are late.
7. Work as a united front — Try not to contradict the nanny in front of the kids. When you are home with the nanny, let her run the show. Part of this is agreeing on the rules. If you cooperate beforehand, the children will never have an opportunity to exploit weakness.
8. Seek the nanny’s input — Give your nanny enough autonomy to do her job well. Talk with your nanny. Ask her how things are going and if she has any suggestions for how to make the days more enjoyable and easier for everyone. She’s been with your children all day, she might have some great suggestions that you would never have thought about.
9. Accept or move on – No nanny is perfect. Heck, even Mary Poppins annoyed her employer. What you have to do is decide. Is the issue large enough to fire her over? Have you discussed it clearly? People are just people. They have their own ways of doing things. If you can’t take it, then just move on. Don’t give yourself extra stress.
10. Let go – Speaking of moving on, sometimes it’s time to let go. If a nanny has become unsatisfied, burnt out, or otherwise unsatisfactory, just let go. Don’t worry; you will be able to find a replacement. It’s not worth your stress or trying to throw money at her. Burnout just happens. Part as friends and keep going.

So, there you go. Ten tips on how to make the most of your situation. And remember, the most important thing in this equation is your children. Your nanny is not there for you, she’s there for them. Make sure they are in a loving and comfortable environment, and don’t sweat the small stuff.

Comments Off

Water is the best drink for kids and adults, but unfortunately, it isn’t always our first choice, especially for kids. It can take some training on our part to help them make this a preferred choice and make sure that they get all the water that they need each day. Below are listed 10 choices that many kids would choose to drink instead of water.

1. Juice – Fruit juices do provide some good, healthy nutrition for kids, and their sweet taste will often make them a favorite for kids. Apple, grape and orange juices are the three safe choices for smiles. However, there are many combination flavors that kids enjoy today as well (cran-grape, orange-pineapple, etc.). Checking the content to make sure there is no added sugar and that the product is 100% juice is an important step in getting the most nutritional value out of the juices kids love.
2. Soft drinks – You may call these ‘soda’ or ‘pop’, depending on the area of the country you live in. Root beer and fruit flavored soft drinks seem to be the favorites among young kids and are generally free from caffeine, but have lots of sugar. There are few kids who would choose water over a soft drink with their meal, but there are a few.  This one is difficult to combat since there is almost no nutritional value, the best thing you can do is be sure to offer this choice as a last resort (basically use it more as a treat).
3. Milk – This is another healthy choice for kids who want to drink something other than water.  You also have the choice of providing it in different fat contents.You will find that some kids do have a preference for the milks with higher fat content, skim, 1%, 2% or whole milk, depending on what they are used to drinking at home.
4. Koolaid – This fruit flavored powder has been used by parents for years to provide an inexpensive sweet drink for kids. Kids will get their water by drinking this drink, but they’ll also get a lot of sugar unless you buy the sugar-free variety (which of course we recommend).
5. Lemonade – Lemon juice, water and sugar are the three simple components of this time favored drink. The sour lemon juice is tempered by the sugar to make it just right for a hot summer day. Of course, it has also been used as a money maker for many children over the years.  This is another favorite that you can control the amount of sugar, so not a bad choice for kids under your care.
6. Smoothies – A cold, slushy drink made with fruit, your limitations in this area are created only by the limits of your own imagination. Any single fruit or combination of fruit can be used. You can find many different recipes for smoothies online to satisfy the taste buds of even the pickiest kids.
7. Ice cream floats – This drink can double as a dessert. Root beer floats are one of the most popular, but floats can be made with any flavor of soft drink, just add a scoop of vanilla ice cream.  This is a true treat for obvious reasons and an effective prize for good behavior.
8. Flavored milk – Some kids prefer flavored milk to either white milk or water. Chocolate is the most common flavor and usually comes in a skim milk variety. However, strawberry flavored milk or flavored powder for adding to milk is also available.
9. Sports drinks – There are times when sports drinks with electrolytes are actually more beneficial to children than just water. Any time when dehydration is a concern, pediatricians recommend these types of drinks. Pedialyte or Gatorade are the two most well-known brand names.
10. Flavored waters – Many sugar-free flavored bottled waters are available in grocery stores that can be helpful for getting kids to drink the water they, need without adding any sugar to their diet.

As we mentioned at the beginning, water is an important part of a healthy lifestyle for kids, and such be encouraged as their drink of choice. If you are looking for other options, there are plenty of them available that kids will happily take as a first or second choice.

Comments Off

We wanted to be sure to celebrate National Nanny Recognition Week and thank all of the nannies that we have had the pleasure to work with through the years.  Thank you for the invaluable service that you provide to our children and for all of your daily, weekly, monthly efforts!  We appreciate your hard work and hope you have a great week!

Comments Off

As children get older, they need to take on more responsibilities. One of those responsibilities is taking care of themselves. Whether it’s for a few minutes or a few hours, eventually every child needs to be able to stay home alone. Here are ten tips on deciding when your child is ready.

1. Your child should indicate a desire and willingness to stay alone - Children who are easily frightened or express an unwillingness to stay alone are probably not ready for this responsibility.
2. Your child should be showing signs of accepting the responsibility – Children who are able to get ready for school on time and complete homework and household chores with a minimum of supervision are illustrating their growing sense of responsibility.
3. Your child should be aware of the needs of others – Children who remember to tell you where they are going and when they will be back and are mindful of the promises they make are aware of other’s needs.
4. Your child should be able to consider alternatives and make decisions independently – Children who solve problems on their own and do not depend on their parents for every decision are demonstrating some of the skills they need to care for themselves.
5. Your child should be able to talk easily with you about interests and concerns – Good parent-child communication is needed to ensure that any fears or problems that arise because of staying alone can be quickly discussed and dealt with.
6. Your child should know how to react in situations such as – being locked out, being afraid, being bored, being lonely, and arguments with brothers and sisters.
7. Your child should know house rules about – leaving the house, having friends in, cooking and use of kitchen equipment, appropriate snacks and meals, talking with friends on the phone, and duties to be completed while home alone.
8. Your child should have good telephone skills – Such as a list of emergency numbers, knowledge of what to say in an emergency situation, how to respond if someone calls, and understanding of appropriate and inappropriate reasons for calling parents or other adults for help.
9. Your child should have good personal safety skills – Such as how to answer the door when alone, how to lock and unlock windows, what to do if approached by a stranger on the way home, what to do if they think someone is in the house when they get home, and what to do if someone touches them inappropriately.
10. Your child should have good home safety skills – Like kitchen safety (use of appliances, knives and tools), what to do if they smell smoke or gas- or in the event of a fire, what to do during severe storms, basic first aid techniques and how to know when to get help.

For many children these abilities begin to appear between the ages of 10-12. Some children may take longer than others, but it should be a mutual decision. Both the child and the parent need to be certain they are ready. A trial period of one or two days a week could be tried first, allowing both the parent and the child time to assure themselves that they are ready for this next step in responsibility.

Comments Off

Sociologist Cameron MacDonald has created quite a stir with her book, Shadow Mothers: Nannies, Au Pairs, and the Micropolitics of Mothering. As a sociologist, MacDonald looks at the issues of today’s childcare from all perspectives, the parent, the provider, the child, the workplace and society in general. The title of her book has, in affect, coined a new term, “Shadow Mothers”. The term relates to the desire of professional mothers to have their child’s daycare provider become an extension of themselves that appear and then disappears, as needed. Below we’ve listed ten concerns that are raised about the concept of nannies being shadow mothers.

1. Disconnect with Mom – As much as mothers desire their kids to feel happy and safe with their nannies, there is often a concern that their children will lose their intimate connection with their mother, when the child is spending so much time in the care of another woman.
2. Cultural values – One of the traditional roles of the mother has been to pass on cultural values and societal standing to their children. There are concerns that this motherhood role may be lost  when leaving children in the care of nannies from another class of society.
3. Blurred lines – When mothers expect a nanny to take on her full role of motherly nurture in her absence, the roles of nanny and mother can lose their distinction, especially for the child.
4. Nanny preference – Concerns that the children will become more attached to their nanny than to their own mother are common. Mothers seem to want their children to be happy to see their nanny, but not ‘too’ happy.
5. Mommy guilt – The educated mom has an even greater understanding of the important psychological role that she plays in the early development of her child. Unfortunately, that understanding can lead to guilt feelings related to sharing the daily care of her children with other adults.
6. Nanny rotation – There are some mothers who try to solve the problem of nanny attachment through nanny rotation. Rather than keeping their child with one nanny that they can continue to bond with, the mother will replace the nanny yearly or even more often to prevent that attachment from forming.
7. Emotional disconnect – In situations where the nanny recognizes the mother’s desire to keep their child from bonding too closely with their caregiver, a nanny may attempt to maintain emotionally distant from the children, which may not necessarily be in the best interest of the children she cares for.
8. Cultural attitudes – Mothers can be concerned with the opinions of her peers towards her sharing of her mothering role with an employee. In spite of the fact that the majority of women now work outside of the home, there still is some stigma attached to the hiring of a one-on-one caregiver for your child.
9. Child’s perception – Confusion of the roles of the two caregivers in the mind of the child is one of the main concerns. Maintaining certain areas of care, such as bathing, homework assistance and bedtime, as distinctly the mom’s responsibility can help keep the two roles separate.
10.  Balanced acknowledgement – The conclusion drawn by MacDonald in her book indicated that the most healthy nanny-parent relationships were those where the parents openly acknowledged the value of the nanny in the role as ‘one’ of the adult caregivers  in the family. This balance can be achieved much the same as the balance created by mothers and fathers in their roles of caring for their children. The roles are distinct and yet cooperative. They are mutually acknowledged.

When handled correctly, the nanny as a ‘shadow mother’ can be a very positive experience for the children, the parents and the nanny, as well.

Comments Off

Have you ever gone to a coupon site and been confused, disoriented and frustrated? Want just printable coupons you can take to the store? Then here are ten coupon sites that make it easy to save in the real world.

1. CouponNetwork.com – A simple and easy-to-navigate site, Coupon Network features nationwide deals and a “your bucks” offer that gives you points towards your favorite stores every time you use the site. They also match you with deals at your favorite stores, making it even easier to save.
2. Coupons.com – The Big Mama of online couponing, Coupons.com is a fun and easy to use website. The boldly displayed discounts and simple system allow you to pick and print coupons quickly- giving you more time at the store. Plus, if you sign up with them, they’ll send local coupons right to your inbox.
3. MoneySavingMom.com – An upbeat and encouraging site dedicated to helping you find great deals, stretch your hard-earned dollars, and live on less than you make so you can save more and give more. This site offers more than coupons; with advice, giveaways, and meal planning ideas, Money Saving Mom is the beginners guide to living on less. Not just for moms!
4. RetailMeNot.com – Featuring both coupons for online retailers and printable in-store savings, Retail Me Not is simple and convenient. The online coupons even allow you to click and automatically go to the retailer’s site. So easy!
5. SmartSource.com – Another easy-to-use site, Smart Source has a few non-coupon offers (like sweepstakes) but offers something the others don’t: tweets! Yes, that’s right, this site will tweet you with the latest offers and discounts.
6. CouponCabin.com – This site started out offering online-only coupons, but has now expanded to printable ones as well. Use this site for clothing retailers, restaurant discounts, and other stores besides groceries. You’ll be sure to find a bargain.
7. RedPlum.com – You may recognize the name from your local newspaper. Red Plum regularly sends out coupons in newspapers, but you can find a lot more at their website. Check it out and see for yourself.
8. Valpak.com – Do you remember that fat envelope of coupons you got in the mail? Well, this is who it came from. Valpak sends out valuable coupons to your home, but now you can access them online as well. Best of all, this site offers mobile coupons on your phone, no cutting required!
9. SearchAllDeals.com – Not really a coupon per se, Search All Deals does just what it says- searches out all the deals! Just input the product, food, restaurant, whatever you want to save on, and this site will dig through the internet muck for you. A great site for when you have something definite in mind to buy.
10. GroupOn.com – Group On negotiates huge discounts, usually 50-90% off, with businesses. They send the deals to thousands of subscribers in a free daily email, and the businesses get a ton of new customers. They are strictly get-what-you-get site, but the deals are fantastic. Everything from spa services to pottery classes is up for grabs. Sign up to save today!

So, whether you’re looking to plan your next meal or save a bundle on your grocery bill, these sites can help you do it quickly and easily. While you’re searching for that perfect coupon just remember to have fun. You’re saving money, after all!

Comments Off

As a nanny, you are more involved with the families of children in your care than you would be as a babysitter. This means that there are some differences in the general rules to go along with the specific rules of any house in which you work. Here are 10 good, general rules for Nannies.

1. Your Friends. As a nanny, it is a good idea to avoid ever inviting friends to drop in while you’re working, unless you’ve discussed it with your employer ahead of time.
2. What’s Theirs is Theirs. This may seem obvious, but sometimes lines are blurred when you work with one family for a long time. Always remember that what is theirs stays with them, and does not go home with you unless it has been gifted to you.
3. Vehicle Use. You may, in the course of your employment as nanny, have the use of a family vehicle. Although the specific rules of use will vary from family to family, always remember that this is your employer’s vehicle, not yours. Use it only for transporting kids and performing errands related to the job, unless there is a specific purpose that you’ve received permission to pursue.
4. Outings. This could almost be part of the vehicle use topic, but is actually a separate issue. Outings with the kids should always be related to the job and their care. For example, you are not at the park to exchange war stories with other nannies; you are there to allow the kids to play under your watchful eye.
5. Food. It is wise to never introduce anything new into the diet of a child in your care, unless it is done with a parent’s prior knowledge. There is no need to risk triggering an allergic reaction or other food intolerance symptoms.
6. Family Values. Part of your job as a nanny is to reinforce the family’s values with the children in your care. Not your own family’s values, but theirs. It’s okay to disagree on priorities, but keep it to yourself in front of the kids.
7. Discipline and Reporting. It’s good to establish from the beginning, what sort of disciplinary actions are expected of you, and when and what the parents want reported to them. Don’t make assumptions when it comes to these issues, discuss them ahead of time and revisit them as you feel is necessary.
8. Media. This is another case where the general rule is to establish the rules. Use of television, computers, game consoles, and related items, should all be discussed and set with the parents from the beginning.
9. Kids’ Friends. There will be times when the kids in your care will have friends over, and you will be responsible. Treat this as you would as a parent. Make sure and speak with a parent of the visiting child, ask about any allergies or other concerns to be aware of. It’s good to take a moment to tell the visiting child’s parent what sort of activities you expect to be taking place while the child is visiting.
10. Discretion. Respect the privacy of the family you work for. All will have quirks and habits that might make great fodder for amusing stories to share with friends. Resist the urge to do so. Ask yourself whether you’d want someone discussing your own family’s private issues outside of your home.

You will obviously be dealing with as many different sets of rules as the number of families that you work with over time. These 10 will give you a good foundation to work from in any house.

Comments Off